Thursday, April 14, 2016

miserable.

Thursday, April 14, 2016
23.46

I was just so reminiscing back in the day, where live gets hard by myself, and it was just fine,
when movies took the huge part on me,
when movies weren't boring and expensive.
when living was cheap.
when i don't have to eat everytime i'm hungry, just because i think i do
when writing was the only biggest goal.
when i can cry alone in my room and nobody can hear, and it was so fine by then,
when i can just listen to some good sad songs underneath the rain.

I was such a loner, and a sucker for socializing and caring. but i miss the days,
when i can just lie in my bed, without having to answer all the messages, because nobody is really disturbing, but it was so nice by then.
when i can just lie in my bed all day, without having to take a bath, or going out to have some rices. 

I was so turned down back at the time, but those days were better enough thinking by now. 
when i just have to act happy all the time, but it was really fine, and not a problem
when i can just hide your feeling, easily
when i can just be sad everyday, but it was really fine. because it happens everyday, so.

Just really longing, the time
when everything can remain sad but it was fine,
when everything can also remain a cheap happiness.

...
why does it feel so miserable being reasonably happy?